In this two part series for Colon Cancer Awareness Month I sat down with Dr. Shari McGill, PhD, RN, OCN and Karise Ho to find out more about the oncology journey from the perspective of an oncology nurse as well as someone battling with colon cancer.

Dr. Shari McGill, PhD, RN, OCN is an oncology certified nurse with 10 years of oncology experience. In this interview she shares her best and worst experiences as an oncology nurse, as well as her suggestions for those newly diagnosed. Keep reading to find out the best gifts to give to a friend or family member who is battling cancer.

Q: Can you describe what you like the most about oncology nursing?

A: The relationships you form with your patients. The patients are just so grateful even though they’re literally fighting for their life. A lot of them are very positive and really give you a different perspective, that as bad as things may be its not as bad as what they’re going through . You get to make a difference pretty much every single day.

Q: What would you say you like the least about oncology nursing?

A: Just the side effects that the patients have to go through. And also that we’re not able to cure every cancer, which is hard cause we would like to. When your patient gets bad news it kinda hits you as well because you’re always hopeful that they’ll be able to beat their cancer and have their new normal. I really wish we were able to cure every single person and that the treatments that we use didn’t have some of these side effects that really affect quality of life, body image, and long term effects.

Q: Can you share your worst experience?

A: I don’t know if there’s exactly one. With inpatient oncology nursing, we were contracted with hospice, and when my patients had to unfortunately transition to hospice, sometimes it felt like I became a hospice nurse.  You give the patient pain medication because they’re in pain, but many family members don’t realize it also slows their respirations and what seems like speeds up the dying process. Also, the moments when your young patient has a poor prognosis and it’s getting to the end and  they have to bring in their little children to explain to them that they’re not going to be there to see them grow up. Then you deal with things like having exhausted patients who have to continue to work because if they don’t work then they can’t afford the insurance to get treatment. Treatment is extremely expensive even with insurance. 

Q: In contrast, can you describe your best experience?

A: I don’t think i have just one best experience either. Probably just a culmination. Like the feeling you get when you realize you’ve made a difference even when you didn’t think you did at the time. For example having a conversation with a patient because their friends and family couldn’t be there with them for treatment that day. Only caring for a patient for a couple of times and then if they do make it through, them coming back and thanking you so much for all you’ve done. Or if they don’t beat their cancer, just the appreciation their family has for the care that you were able to give them. Also when a patient looks like they’ve run out of treatment options but then a new drug comes to market or they’re able to get into a clinical trial and it’s successful for them. It’s the moments where they get to celebrate that brings great joy.

Q: Have you had to deal with any internal conflicts?

A: Sometimes I see patients where the side effects are really affecting their quality of life and I wonder why are they still continuing to get therapy. Like when is the cutoff line? But then I also realize that, without them getting therapy they would probably not make it. So that’s how I rationalize it in my head. Then there’s ethical moments where the family members don’t want the person who’s getting treated to know necessarily that they have cancer.

Q: If there was one thing you wish more people knew, what would it be?

A: Cancer is not a death sentence. Yes, after cancer you do get somewhat of a new normal, but it’s not a death sentence. They’re just like anybody else, they just happen to have cancer. They don’t want you to pity them or look at them like they’re dying. They’re not. They are survivors and they are fighting from the moment they got diagnosed through the balance of their life. So just remember they’re a person. Their cancer doesn’t define them. I just wish more people understood that.

Q: What would you say to someone who was just diagnosed with cancer?

A: Don’t think you have to be a warrior all the time. Don’t be afraid to feel your emotions. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream. But let your emotions flow. Flow through them. You’re going to be nervous and scared, of course, it’s your life but also embrace the support that you have around you. If you don’t, there are so many support groups out there. Especially now with COVID they’re many that are virtual so you don’t have to physically go anywhere. Utilize meet ups with people that are going through the exact same thing as you are because sometimes it’s hard to talk to friends and family because unless they’ve had cancer as well they might not really get it. Really use your resources. You may think you don’t need them but they help. If you’re going through therapy you’re going to be tired but at the same time take those moments to still do what you love because you’re still going through life. You are going to have your bad days, you’re entitled to your bad days, but you have your bad day or your bad moment and you pick yourself up and you keep on going. The brain is super powerful so you always have to remind your brain that you are going to fight this. You are fighting this. Picture yourself like you’re in battle and coming out on the other side that much stronger. 

Q: What suggestions do you have for someone who just found out their friend or family was diagnosed with cancer?

A: Give them time to talk. They might not want to talk about it right away, and that’s ok. But when they do want to talk, just listen. They’re more than likely extremely nervous and scared, but let them know you’re going to be with them on this journey, they’re not in this alone. Again, if they don’t want to talk, let them know that’s ok. The smallest things help, whether it’s dropping off food or offering to watch their child so they can take a nap when treatment is making them exhausted. Just try and go above and beyond but without pitying them. They don’t need that. If you feel like you’re going to break down, try and do that in your own space because they’re already dealing with enough. But also if they need to break down allow them to be vulnerable with you in that moment.

Q: For those that want to send a gift to loved one recently diagnosed, what should they send?

A: First, Google is wonderful but try and find reputable sources and look up the specific cancer. Try and find out the treatment they will be on. Because if the treatment isn’t going to cause hair loss then you getting them scarves or a gift card for a wig is not very comforting or thoughtful. But google one of the therapies that they’re on and see what the common side effects are and get them gifts to combat that because contrary to popular belief not every single chemotherapy out there causes hair loss so be informed yourself when searching for a gift. 

To get your mind flowing here’s some ideas:

• Ginger tea - a lot of therapies do cause nausea and vomiting so things like ginger tea can help combat this

• Candles - try to choose scents that are not too strong but like aromatherapy that is soothing to the senses.

• Moisturizers - a lot of the therapies will cause dry hands and skin so moisturizers will help alleviate this.

• Journal - they might not write in it everyday but its helpful that they document their journey and it’s very cleansing.

• Gift card - for those days when they don’t want to cook, or there is no one there to cook for them for them to be able to order something that they enjoy.

• A nice bag - to put all their necessities with them for treatment days.

• A blanket - its often cold in treatment areas.

• Port shirt/sweater - For easier access to their port for treatment.

• Adult coloring books and markers - To help pass the time on treatment days

To read about Karise Ho and her colon cancer journey click here for part 2.